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It’s Not A Try and Buy Option

Could men reproduce men if the female were to become extinct, just like giraffes who developed that long neck to survive?!

Hearing about female foeticide in this age horrifies me, a deep emotion cuts through my veins. I am aware I am not writing something new, but then could one stop screaming and crying if one is hurt.

In the age of technology and online shopping, perhaps some shallow people consider it as simple as returning an online order, because it doesn’t fit their preference, or they have changed their mind. Have they not realised that this was an irreplaceable order and there was no try and buy option?! More pitiful is when you see holder of the foetus themselves doing this, I am consciously not calling them ‘mothers’ because mother is a very sacred word to be used here.

I am wondering if people have forgotten that the foetus has a heart, it is alive. Why do they choose to ignore this fact which has also become known due to scientific advancement? From the perspective of karma theory, an equivalent sin or bad karma is committed, whether you kill a foetus or a walking human, and you would have to face the same consequences of it. It’s the law in the nature that cannot be denied. Just like the gravitational law is true so is this, an apple will fall towards the earth because of the earth’s gravitational force, so will you face the effect of this karma too, in this lifetime or the lifetime to come.

I am an Indian woman living in the 21st century when medical science has really advanced. It’s a simple thing for doctors to tell if the baby in the womb is healthy, growing well and with that they can easily tell its gender too. This is a great news for majority of the world’s population such that they can prepare to welcome the baby with right sets of clothes, think of a name per the gender etc…but then could one imagine of what other consequences this could bring. Yes, the societal pressures of India where daughters are considered a liability and sons as assets, the thought and fear of spending their lifetime savings on getting the daughter married with no guarantee of her being happy and secure. It’s like a speculating a security in the stock market, with no guarantee of returns and high risk. And this is not all, they might also have to give in to their dignity and self-respect, to large extent in some cases. Thus, this medical advancement is not such a great news after all.

Thinking deeper about why such practices even started, our customs I am pretty sure were never petty in the ancient times. They must be an outcome of some arrogant people’s interpretations to their own benefit and I am sure they must have been parents of sons only! As a result, we see varied human reactions and ways to deal with this created societal pressure. The reactions would obviously depend on the value system and social backgrounds of the individuals.

The first category of people would be who follow these norms happily, consider all aspects as customs and a legacy from the respected previous generation. This is to say that bride’s parents still bow before the groom’s parents and family. Bride’s parents to feel obliged throughout their lives just to ensure that their daughter is respected and happy at her new home. And on the other side, groom’s parents consider it their right to behave arrogantly.

Second category are people who take a step back and have the wisdom to evaluate what’s most important for living a happy married life – material benefits only or companionship and marital bliss. They have the courage to break the old norms. They have the courage to stop enduring disrespect, to deny and fight against unfair behaviour and practices. And base the new relationship on mutual respect and human values. And the parents of the sons, they have greatest gratitude for the lovely life who has chosen to be the part of their family. They welcome her, embrace her, love her.

The last and most extreme reaction to fight against this awful practice is to avoid the problem completely and stop the girl from being born at all. Thinking about it, this reaction is their complete refusal to endure such practices. This category of people refuse to see their daughters go through the same agony that they themselves have gone through or have seen many examples around them. But can it be denied that they hold a very narrow vision, while they may sound very brave because killing their own child requires some courage! But its justified to say that they are the weakest of all. Not only that, they now hold high the badge of cruelty on their chest. They choose to give up on the battle before even starting. And its disheartening to see that some of these parents react this way only out of their greed and nothing else.  

So being daughters’ parents requires some bravery in this country! Of course all of us would most commonly say that the second category is the ideal one, that’s how everyone should behave! I hope and wish that we do reach that ideal space soon, but I can’t stop respecting the first category and hating the third one! The first offers everything they possess with a smile and other one kills to protect all possessions, with a smile.

Kyu na ek poem Hindi me ho jaye

Machal rahi thi ye ungliya kuch acha likhne ko,
Jaise hi likhne baithi, expression hi tha ek dum gol.
Bohot socha, bohot vichar kiya,
Vicharo ki to thi nahi kami, to problem thi kya yaar?
Bachpan se hi convent school me padne ka jo tha gubar,
Shock lag gaya jab English me poem na nikal payi, right expression ke saath.
Finally baat ayi samajh me,
Jab emotional hoti hu Hindi me, to English me poem kaise aye.
To kyu na ek poem Hindi me ho jaye!

Shayad nahi apayegi wo Bachchan wali baat,
To kyu machao faltu me utpaat.
Phir socha, jab diya Bhagwaan ne aisa parivaar,
jaha shudh Hindi me hi hota tha vyavhaar Na hi chora koi Maha Kavya, Tagore, Prem Chand, Nirala pad daale Maa ne saare,
Phir to, ek try banta hai na yaar!
To kyu na ek poem Hindi me ho jaye!

Lekin shudh Hindi me bhi likhne ke kam the asaar,
School me Hindi pe kaha diya tha itna dhyan.
Hindi English kam thi, jo add kar li Urdu, Sanskrit aur German bhi course me,
Badane ke liye apni bhashao ka gyan.
Phir bhi kyu na ek poem Hindi me ho jaye!

College me thi tabse tha ek sawaal,
Kyu di jaati hai English bolne wale ki sabse zada misaal.
Lekin ye baate sab thi bekaar,
Hum logo ke mann ka tha sirf ek vikaar,
Agar sahi expression hai lane,
To kuch nahi upar apni mother tounge ke aage.
Kyu na ek poem Hindi me ho jaye!

Kaise bhi thoughts ko to logo tak pohochau,
Tarika aya ek samajh me, kyu na mai Hindustani ko apnau.
Pada tha kahi, ki dilli wale bol sakte hai sirf Hindustani,
Hai ye mixture Urdu, Hindi, Punjabi aur English ka hi.
To kyu na ek poem Hindustani me hi ho jaye!

Stay Connected

When trying to explore reasons of this fresh encouragement to express, I could pin down many but at the core of it was the determination to contribute in anyway and be appreciative of opportunities around that we may sometimes take for granted and ignore. Looking back through my life journey, many situations in the past could have been handled differently but then I followed the best course of action I could have in that moment of wisdom. Thinking now, the wisdom in hand if was accompanied with some good guidance could have helped achieving better outcomes. But the question is whether I was open enough to ask for it!

So, the most important change that I brought in myself was identifying the need to reach out to people and speak up when in need of guidance in career or in life. Identification of the need itself was like half battle won I guess, and this came about when I connected with people, accepted the need to do things differently, became honest and accepting to my own aspirations and ambitions. 

Imagine someone saying to you “show the world who you are” and it may just boost you up to surmount all obstacles coming your way.